


I’m worse then everyone I didn’t want to be

by DepressedTatertot



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Dissociation, Dream XD is god, Gen, Idk tags help, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Might be revived Idk, Sad, Sad Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Sad Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Tommy-centric, Well see, ghostbur we love him, shit happens, tommy died, “the discs don’t matter tommy”
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-18 21:49:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28999308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DepressedTatertot/pseuds/DepressedTatertot
Summary: Hehe this is going to be fun to write (it’s 11 at night, I’m jet lagged, I’m running off pizza rolls, and I only got a half hour of sleep. Bear with me)——“THE DISCS DON’T MATTER TOMMY”“THE DISCS WERE WORTH MORE THEN YOU EVER WERE”“PHILL KILL ME”“1 V 30 HERE WE GO”OrTubbo: as long as i cant be the next jschlatt, you cant be the next wilburTommy: Bet mother fucker
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 84





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so this first chapter is just like umm how do I put this uhhhh an intro I think is the word. 
> 
> (Idk I’m rewriting the notes fork this at 1am before I post this)
> 
> The real shit happens in the 2nd chapter that I’ll probably start writing after I post this and it’ll probably be done in like 1-3 hours.
> 
> Also for better experience while reading this, listen to the song “Experience” by Ludovico Einaudi. It doesn’t really have anything to do with the story, but I thought it might fit the vibes.

“I need the discs”

———

“Tommy, I am so so sorry”

———

“HE WOULDN’T LIE TO ME DREAM”

———

”Your presence here isn’t the best for this nation”

———

“ALL OF THIS IS BASED OFF THE MUSIC DISCS! YOU CAN’T SACRIFICE EVERYTHING FOR THE MUSIC DISCS”

———

“YOU’VE LITERALLY PROVEN TIME AND TIME AGAIN THAT YOU CANT BE TRUSTED”

———

“What about the discs?”

“Their _just_ music discs. They shouldn’t be able to _dictate_ the future of an entire nation.”

———

“Tubbo, you spend all this time, you do all do all these speeches talking about...”-—“IT’S NOT OK! YOU DEFINITELY DO NOT HAVE THE BEST INTERESTS FOR THIS NATION AT HEART”

——

“Do you know what he did to me in exile Tubbo...?”

“I THOUGHT YOU DIED!”

“But you didn’t come and see me... and you still don’t care I’m here...”

——

“YOU BETRAYED ME TUBBO”

“I DIDN’T BETRAY YOU! YOU BETRAYED EVERYTHING YOU HAD BUILT-”

“YOU BETRAYED ME”

”-WITH PRESIDENTS PRIOR”

”YOU BETRAYED EVERYTHING”

_”I don’t think I have.”_

——

“You know what this looks like Tubbo?”

“What does this look like Fundy?”

”your acting like Schlatt”

——

...

..

.

“THE DISCS DONT MATTER TOMMY! HOW COULD YOU NOT SEE THAT-”

—-

“THE DISCS-“

—

“-THEY DONT MATTER?”

—-

“-WERE WORTH MORE THEN YOU EVER WERE”

——

“If nothing matters... then- then why does any- any of this matter at all...?”

——  
...

..

.

——

“Give him the disc.”

——

“I’m sorry Tubbo”

——

“Just give him the discs”

——

...

..

.

——

“Tommy, Tommy? Tommy what are you doing?”

”I’m not... T-Techno I... I’m- I’m- I- I’m so... y- you...-“

——

“This isn’t me”

——

“If this is what I’ve become... then I don’t want to be me anymore...”

——

...

..

.

“I’m sorry”

“What- what do you mean Tommy?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy go brrrrrr
> 
> Please excuse me. I’m still only running off pizza rolls, Half an hour of sleep, and jet lagged. My brain can’t function at these conditions at 1:30 am

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For better experience try listening to “As the World Caves In” by Matt Maltese. Again, I just think it fits the vibe.

“I’m sorry”

“What- what do you mean Tommy?”

——

Tommy silently went over to, Tubbo grabbed the disc, pulled out his flint and steal, and burned the disc.

“There Dre am. Now there’s nothing for you to care about on this server anymore.”

Everyone stared in shock.

Tommyinnit.

The Tommyinnit.

The loud, annoying, clingy, blond kid, who was horrible at PvP, burned the one thing he cared about, and probably the most wanted thing on this server.

——

Tommy looked at Tubbo as he spoke.

“The thing that I fought for doesn’t exist anymore, the discs that I started wars for don’t exist anymore, I’m over.”

——

“The thing that I built this nation for doesn’t exist anymore, the thing I worked towards doesn’t exist anymore, it’s over”

——

_Wilbur_

_He’s repeating history..._

_Phil_

_That’s what Wilbur said..._

——

  
“What do you mean?”

——

“What are you doing?”

——

“Techno? I meant what’s I said! I burned the disc! I burned the disc with my own sling. Dream doesn’t care about anything anymore! He can leave us alone! He’ll leave! It’s food! I can be free of war”

——

“Phill? I wasn’t doing anything. We just- we just made Tubbo president. We- we um we elected Tubbo president and we won! We won the war, Schlatt’s gone. Schlatt’s gone Plilza. It’s umm- it’s- it’s good”

——

_Tommy..._

_don’t repeat history_

_Technoblade..._

_Don't make the same mistake_

——

“Do you remember the song? The one Wilbur wrote, for L’Manberg? Long ago.”

——

“Have you heard t- t- the song on the walls before? Have you heard the song?”

——

“There was this line. “Where men could go and imancpate” I remember that place. We used to have the special place. It‘s not here now but it could be. Once Dream leaves and maybe something else too.”

  
“It can be. But I won’t let them be another government Tommy.”

——

“I was just saying, I made this big point, it was poignant. It was that- it’s umm, that there _was_ a special place where me could go. But it- there- they- it’s not there anymore. Ya know it’s not.”

“It is there. You’ve just- you’ve just won it back Will”

——

“I WAS SO CLOSE TECHO. I’M ALWAYS SO CLOSE TO GEETING RID OF THE THINGS DREAM NEEDS. IVE TREID LIKE 4 OR 5 TIMES”

——

Tommy’s sudden mood change effected the crowd. It wasn’t expected.

One second he was speaking hopefully and the next he’s saying that it’s not over.

——

“PHILL I’M ALWAYS SO CLOSE TO PRESSING THIS BUTTON PHILL. I’VE BEEN HERE- I’VE BEEN HERE LIKE 7 OR 8 TIMES- I’VE BEEN HERE.”

——

Tommyinnit... Wilbur Soot...  
Technoblade... Philza...

——

“There’s this saying Techno. Originally by a traitor, but then by a brother. It fits this almost perfectly. Maybe adjusted abut.”

——

“There was a saying Phill. By a traitor. Once part of L’Manberg. A traitor I don’t think you’ve heard of, Eret. He had a saying Phil.”

——

  
“I was never meant to be.”

——

“It was never meant to be.”

——

Instead of button being pressed an pile of TNT blowing up, a switch flipped.  
  


Not a physical switch, but a mental one.   
  


Suddenly everyone was fully aware of what was happening.   
  
  


——

Dream was ecstatic.   
  
Tommy had just made his job easier. 

Sure the disc being gone is sad, but it just means he has 1 less thing to obtain

——

”IF I CAN’T HAVE THE DISC NO ONE CAN”

——

“Techno kill me.”

”Techno stab me with your axe.”

”Please I need this.”

”Kill me.”

”Murder me.”

“Make that axe live up to it’s name now.”

”look, I just need you to.”

——

“Phill kill me.”

”Phill stab me with a sword.”

”Murder me now.”

”Do it.”

“Kill me Phill.”

”Murder me.”

“Look they all want you to.”

——

“YOU’RE MY FRIEND!”

”THEN PLEASE! PLEASE”

”I WORKED SO HARD FOR THIS! IM NOT ENDING IT NOW.”

——

“YOUR MY SON”

“THEN LOOK! LOOK”

“HOW MUCH WORK WENT INTO THIS SND ITS GONE.”

——

“Do it.”

——

“Do it.”

——

Tommyinnit was slain by Technhoblade using The Axe of Peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup bitches how did you like this?
> 
> I’m tired. It’s 3:30 am so imma sleep now


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idk this is going to be Dream and Tubbo’s reactions to Tommy being dead
> 
> Remember Dream XD has canon access to creative mode making him God.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heck yeah 3 chapters in 1 day  
> That’s pretty poggers if I say so myself.

Dream stood in shock looking at the dead body if the child he had tried to manipulate. He hadn’t expected this. This changes everything. With Tommy dead I have no power. Tommy brought attachment. If Tommy’s gone then the server will fall apart. This is bad. I might need to call in a favor with an old friend.

——

Tubbo was out of it in seconds. His mind racing too fast questioning his friendships and motives. He couldn’t stop thinking of what Tommy had said:

_“The thing that I fought for doesn’t exist anymore, the discs that I started wars for don’t exist anymore, I’m over.”_

Was that all that mattered to Tommy? Was I not enough?

Of course it was. You exiled him because a power hungry psychopath asked you to. You lost the title of best friend the second you contemplated exiling him.

Tubbo just spiraled from there. Within seconds his mind shot him into past memories to protect him from the harsh reality. 

——

Tubbo_ left the game

——

“What?”

”Tubbo?”

”Why does it say that, he’s still right here?”

”Oh Dream XD this is bad...”

  
The crowd was confused and panicked. They had just watched one of their country’s founders be killed by an anarcist after destroying the most valuable thing in the server. Then they had to watch as their president spiraled into panic and hit the ground like a dead body on a battle field.   
  


Bur that didn’t explain the message in chat.   
  


Tubbo was right in front of them, he hadn’t left the server.   
  


——

“This is a setback... but I can still work with it.” The hooded man spoke in a monotone but somehow still irritated voice. “I’ll be on my way now, it’ll only get worse not that I have nothing to protect.” It’s that Dream left. Pooped out of thin air leaving everyone in shock.

_We might just have another war coming out way_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHOULD I MAKE TOMMY A GHOST BOI OR NOT???
> 
> I made this on impulse thinking it’d be a one shot so I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing now.
> 
> Sorry that it’s so short, I started writing this chapter earlier but Ao3 deleted it so I gave up. But by the time I started writing again it was 5pm and now I’m just exhausted. I’ll probably write more tomorrow because I’m actually motivated with this story.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting Dadza 
> 
> Also side note heres a quick family explanation 
> 
> Philza Minecraft is the father of 2 sons Tommyinnit and Wilbur Soot. Both adopted. Technoblade was a family friend and often had to babysit Wilbur and Tommy when they were kids. That’s why sometimes Wilbur said he was like their big brother. He was often around but was distant enough for them to only sometimes joke about him being their brother. Then there’s Tubbo, Philza found him in a box on the side of the road and Tommy just immediately adopted him as his best friend. No one really knew if he had a family, so they never adopted him, but he was definitely family.
> 
> also... WE STAN WINGED PHILZA 
> 
> Ok that just this specific au, my other fanfics and future fanfics aren’t the same. And it's not cannon as long as I know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally not me adding a father figure to my stories because mine’s shit 
> 
> Lastly sorry for not posting yesterday and basically not today. I forgot about it until, like 10pm today and just got busy yesterday.

_Here, have some blue  
_  
—— _  
_

Ghostbur had stumbled along the scene while everyone was confused about Tubbo. Too shocked to notice his ghostly presenc amount them.

He took one glance at what used to be his little brother and something inside him snapped. Something that he had been trying to repress as if his life, or dare I say death, depended on it.

——

“Get Philza,” Wilbur demanded. It was strange, this wasn’t Ghostbur but was certainly not Alivebur. It was someone in the middle. Someone with the knowledge of Alivebur but the heart of Ghostbur. But he only showed Alivebur at the moment.

”W- What?” a brave soul from the crowd responded. 

”You heard me. Get your ass up and get Philza fucking Minecraft”

”But, But why?”

”Becase he’s the most experienced person on this fcking server and is the only one who knows how to del with this shit what fucking why!”

—— 

Technoblade had been the one to get in contact with Philza, them having been friends for years Philza was currently staying with him.   
  
All Technoblade had to say was help before Philza rushed his way to L’manberg. 

Technoblade never directly asked him for help unless the situation was already fucked.

——

Philza showed up in L’manberg an unknown amount of time later. After Tommy died time seemed to freeze for everyone, well except for Dream, but that asshole didn’t count.

He eventually found everyone huddled by the community house that had apparently been grieved. He walked over to them and his heart dropped when he saw an unconscious Tubbo and a dead Tommy still covered in his own blood.

——

“WHO THE HELL KIKLED MY SON?!?” Philza shouted as he subconsciously puffed up his wings which where still filled with snow from him attempting to fly in a blizzard.

“Phil you need to calm dow.” Technoblade said trying to calm his friend. It wasn’t really working as you might assume.

“CALM DOWN?!? CALM DOWM?!? MY ONLY OTHER SOM IS DEAD AND THE BOY I RAISED AS MY OWN ID UNCONSCIOUS NEXT TO HIM, HOW AN I SUPPOSED TO BE CLAM?!?”

“I KNOW PHIL BUT WE NEED YOU HELP RIGHT NOW SO FOR THE LOVE OF DREAM XD CALM DOWN!!!”

“I’ll give you 10 minuets to explain.” Philza said in the coldest time possible. If a voice could kill, the entire server would be dead including Dream.

“Ok......”

——

After explaining what had happened phill was just as pissed but he was no calm and more worried. Tubbo had just just dropped after watching his best friend who was basically his brother beg to be killed and have the request filled. And now his oldest son was is acting like how he did when he was alive. 

“Ok let me see the message again” Philza said as technoblade showed him the message in chat again.

It still read _Tubbo_ left the game_.

Phil was trying to make sense of it when he remembered something he had read many years ago. It talked of something similar happening.

Someone had something similar happen to them and their brain sent them into memories of the past. In chat it had sat ———— had left the game even thought they were still there.

They had called it dissociation or something.

The person’s body was present but their mind was out of the world. Hidden in it’s self trying to protect the person.

This sounded exactly like what was happening. The only bad thing, was that the passage had never stated how they got the person out of the dissociative state.

_maybe it’ll just take time..._

_——_

“Ok good news and bad news. I know what’s wrong with Tubbo but I’m not 100% sure how to fix it.”

“Ok well that’s a start... but umm Phil, what- what do we do about Tommy...?” Technoblade said.

Phil looked at Technoblade with sad eyes. “The best we can do is give him a proper burial and hope he comes back as a ghost like Ghostbur.”

“Speaking of which, Wilbur. My son, it’s good to have you back even if it’s in such horrible conditions.” Philza said as he walked over to Wilbur and hugged him. At least he had one of them back. Even if he was still a ghost he was finally back to the Wilbur he had raised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo this was a shit chapter and I’m pretty sure I just repeated a part of it from chapter 3 but whatever
> 
> Also sorry for it being so late

**Author's Note:**

> Damn this was originally going to the a one shout but I got caught up in the moment and now I’m making this a whole ass story apparently. 
> 
> Please for the love of Dream XD please help me with tags. I suck at them.
> 
> P.S. everything written in this chapter is a direct quote so have fun with that.


End file.
